The rain pounds against the window. There’s no other word for it – it doesn’t drizzle, drip, flutter, or tap. Relentless sheets, waves, driven by the wind, delivered in droves from the clouds above.
Somewhere, a fox bride’s wedding went wrong.
You sit at the window, watching as the raindrops throw themselves against the glass, splattering, stream downwards in thick, interrupted rivulets. You raise a hand, slowly, point a finger, trace a path down the window, mirroring the rain in some forgotten action.
Some familiar memory prompts you to pick up a pen, uncap it, hold it to the window – and then put it down again because this isn’t the same. Instead, you lean forwards, and the window fogs under your breath.
“Remember?” you trace, asking the rain that flows visible through the cleared spaces. Remember what, you ask yourself – some forgotten memory. The memory’s there, somewhere, locked away – you just have to remember it, remember the silent days, the warm days, the cold days.
The fog begins to fade away. You stand, blow warm air at another patch of glass. Your finger draws a star, and next to it, a sun. And then you wipe it out, because that’s silly, since the sun is just another star, another not very big star. It’s just closer than other stars. It’s brighter than other stars.
You fall into your seat again, with a sigh, barely there. You press your head against the glass, cool against feverish skin. Without meaning to, the window fogs under your breath – and you sit back, surprised. Surprised by the mundane. Slowly, you raise a hand, point a finger, and trace a heart—
The wind stops.
I throw myself against the window, desperately, one last time—
You press your palm against the window, stand, lean forward—I remember! (Yes, I remember too, I want to say, and trace it against the window.)
The rain has moved to the other side of the glass, streaming down your face in thick, interrupted rivulets. You cling to the glass, drop your head.
There, against a lightening sky, a trickle of rain slips down the glass, right through your heart. The fox’s bride smiles, and the wedding goes on.
The fox’s bride smiles, and the wedding goes on.
imi nai yo ikirarenai~